Cultural Differences

For some reason, the urge to write always dawns upon me late at night. I've had a few people in the last week ask me what the biggest cultural differences are between Korea and the US. I have only my opinion, but I shall spell out what I see as best as I can, in no particular order.

1. Eating. Besides the obvious chopsticks, it's been weird for me adjusting to the way that my boys eat. Eating here is a heck of a lot more audible than at home. If it's noodles, the polite way to eat them is literally to grab as much as you can with the chopsticks and slurp. Apparently, audibly eating is a sign of respect, as if to say, "This is so good that I'm eating it like a hungry bear." It's actually quite liberating when you're noodles to just dig in without the formalities. The diet is way different. Rice and kimchi are available at every meal. At restaurants, there's a whole side dish course that comes out before the food and is free. Eating culture in general here just caught me by surprise.

2. Driving. I'm not trying to perpetuate any stereotypes, but the driving test here must be as easy as writing your name at the top. The following clip demonstrates all too accurately what you deal with regularly here.

Basically, it's an free-for-all, and you better be hyperaware of those around you. Surprisingly, I don't see 20 car pileups every day, so maybe a crippling fear is all we really need in the States to avoid accidents.

3. Bowing. This sounds like a ridiculous one, but every Korean you acknowledge, you're usually doing it with a bow. I know that when I'm home in December, I will be bowing to everyone I see without thinking about it.

4. The Internet. Sorry, folks, but the US is millennia behind. I'm really surprised if I'm somewhere and I don't have fast, free WiFi here. It's ridiculously fast. I rarely if ever have issues with Skyping, and it is glorious. Downloads happen in seconds instead of in minutes. It is absolutely wonderful, and the US needs to take notes.

5. Health and fitness. Everyone is as thin as a rail, but there doesn't really seem to be any emphasis on health or working out. My boys enjoy sports, but the idea of running or lifting weights is pretty repulsive to most of them. As far as staff, I see two Korean gentlemen in the gym from time to time, but besides that, all foreign staff. The boys would rather eat Ramen for every meal than anything else, and I get the feeling that when they're home, they're spoiled, and it literally is Ramen and fried chicken for every meal.

6. Music. K-pop, man. It's everywhere. The boys like lots of American pop, but generally like really epic Korean ballads and K-pop are their go-to. I was lucky with my group, and they all have interest in guitar, so they like John Mayer, Eric Clapton, and Jimi Hendrix. Otherwise, I may have been wearing noise canceling headphones a lot more often.

7. Parental relationships. Tons of pressure from the parents on everything. Most of the boys have never heard their parents say they love them. They show that they care in other ways, such as making sure they're fed at all times. I noticed it a lot when I met parents at the soccer tournament earlier this year; on the surface, it looks a lot like a strictly-business relationship, but you can see that the parents do what they do because they care.

8. Masculine/Feminine roles. My boys are super feminine. It took me a while to get used to their morning routines which involve blow drying their hair, applying excessive amounts of cologne, and ironing their shirts. Emotion is more readily displayed with the boys I've come to find. Sitting on each other's laps and holding hands in the hall way is normal. As far as girls, the roles seem to be more traditional than at home, but the school also does a good job of making sure that girls don't just slide into a role that they're expected to assume. It seems to be a newer thing than at home that women are coming out of the household and into the workplace, but maybe I'm misinterpreting.

9. Gaming. At home, if you're into World of Warcraft or League of Legends, you might be considered a nerd. Here, people are making money doing it. The kids are obsessed and watch YouTube videos of the best players. The boys are never happier than when they're at their computers gaming, which is half horrifying in that I worry it cripples their imagination, and half helpful because I get silence when they have MacBook time.

10. Age Distinctions. I think I mean multiple things by this. First of all, unless a Korean is really old or really young, it's really hard for me to distinguish how old they are. I have coworkers who I thought were 20 who are in their late 30s. Some of my boys look like they could be in 2nd grade instead of 7th. Additionally, the way that ages treat each other is strange. The older kids can really hold things over the younger kids heads. Apparently, a lot of bullying occurs based on age. For instance, apparently, one of the kids told a younger boy he had to prostrate him self to him every time he saw him. Strange stuff, man.

Anyway, I'm feeling the yawns, and that's the first ten that came to my head. Have a good weekend, people.

What I Learned From Coaching And My Motorcycle

Yesterday marked the end of my first coaching gig. I also had a really awesome motorcycle ride.

Coaching soccer was kind of a last minute thing. They had so many boys try out for soccer that they decided they wanted to do a B-team so that more boys would get to play. I, along with my co-coach Michael Chu, took on the B-team. Right around the same time, I bought a beat up old dirt bike off of a British dude.

The first day of practice, I remember standing with Michael watching the scrimmage and saying, "We are completely hopeless. These kids don't know a thing about soccer." They could barely even complete a pass to one another. We started at square one with passing and settling. That was in the middle of August. Similarly, I began at square one of the motorcycle. Having never ridden one as a means of transportation before, I rode it around the building right before I bought it, and I almost rear-ended the car in front of me at the first stop light I pulled up to.

We lost our first game 11-0 against the British school up the street. They brought their A-team with seventh and eighth graders. We brought our B-team with mostly sixth grade kids who could barely speak English and were playing in the dirt on defense (literally, they were playing in the dirt). In the first week of having the motorcycle, I noticed that the accelerator was sticking, and that it was very unsafe to ride. Having just made the purchase, I was very discouraged.

Some weeks passed as we prepared for a tournament up in Seoul. We started to see glimmers of hope in the boys' play, and Michael and I agreed that scoring one goal and or getting a draw would be our secret coaches' goal for the tournament. The boys were terrified. They came out in the first game and forced a 0-0 draw. Excitement! They came out in the second and third game and narrowly lost. In the fourth game, we had our first goal of the season. Right before we left for the tournament, my boss Bryan quickly and easily helped me fix the motorcycle.

After the tournament, practice resumed as usual with no games on the schedule for the rest of the season. We were hoping to get a rematch against the British team's B-squad, but besides that, it was just going out on Monday and Wednesdays and having fun. The boys enjoyed a more laid back attitude, and so did we. The weather was beautiful, and I found some great routes around the coast to take my motorcycle out for a spin. The views were stunning.

When mid-term grades came back, over half of our team was ineligible. One of our boys lost his passport coming back from break in China and was stuck there. We didn't have enough to field a team for a scheduled rematch against the British squad, and Michael and I resolved to just letting the boys scrimmage at practice. The headlight went out on my motorcycle. I went to fix it, and on the way to the shop, I ran out of gas and had to walk it a mile to the gas station.

For our last practice, Michael and I told the boys we would be playing in a scrimmage with them. As we played, I noticed beautiful connecting passes, incredible defense from a boy who had the self-confidence of a pea all season, an understanding of the strategy Michael and I had put in place, movement on and off the ball, and countless other improvements. Michael and I stood together at the end of practice marveling at the progress the boys had made. It was one of my proudest moments at this job so far. Earlier in the day, I had taken the motorcycle for a ride on a seaside road with incredible views of the giant mountain closest to campus. As I rode, I realized how free my mind was from the stupid stresses that come with any job. I didn't miss home then; I realized how lucky I was to be in such a beautiful place on a beat up old dirtbike going wherever I felt like.

I realize how well I've gotten to know myself in these last few months. I realize who I want to be and how I want to be. I realize what I need to stay sane around a bunch of middle school boys when sometimes it seems like their life goal is to make me go insane. I realize that while I'm off doing what I'm doing, home is always going to be there, and I'm making lots and lots of different homes, too. I think up until recently, I've had a massive fear of missing out. I miss my friends at home like crazy. I miss my parents and my sister. I was holding back from getting attached to this place. I think coaching and my motorcycle showed me that this place is somewhere I can get used to.

When I left, although I was ready to go abroad and wanted to, in a way, it felt like I was running from something. I didn't get my dream job; I went through a break up; I felt like I had no direction. I don't really believe in some higher power dictating my life, but I do think I'm meant to be here. I'm in a really good place overall, and I think I'd like to come back for a second year if the school offers me a promotion. It's decision time in the next few weeks!

Hey, thanks for reading. It's six weeks until I'm home and get to see so many people that I'm missing so much. Hope you're having as good of a week as I am.

-Ryan

Fall Break: Seoul and Hong Kong

With an 11-day trip, more than I can tell happened, so I'm going to hit the highlights!

Seoul, October 26 to October 30:

Ten of us from the KIS dorm staff stayed in an Airbnb in Seoul's Hongik University area. It's a young people's part of the town with the university there, so there were tons of options for shopping and eating. The main place we traveled to was Itaewon, the foreigners part of town. It had tons of shopping and foods we can't get in Jeju, like American BBQ (the best BBQ I've had in years) and Mexican food. Needless to say, we took full advantage. It was a bit crazy with ten people in one apartment, but it was a lot of fun. It was good to just have some time to relax. We visited a large palace one day with a beautiful garden, and we went bowling another day. It was really nice to not have plans, to just be able to go do what I wanted when I wanted to. That was the general theme of Seoul. I liked the size and the atmosphere of the city, too.

Hong Kong, October 30 to November 5:

Hong Kong was the bulk of the trip, and I traveled with my friends Justin and Alec. My first impression when we showed up was the height. Everything is built vertically and right on top of each other. It's a big, little city. The second thing I noticed was the crowds. Everywhere was a mess of people. By the end of 6 days, I was very tired of it! We started with a couple of days of just going around the town and sightseeing. We saw the beautiful view from Victoria's peak, went to markets in Mong Kok (near the protests, but there wasn't any action when we were there!), and went to the night markets. On Halloween, we went to Lan Kwai Fong, the bar district. The streets were so packed we couldn't move, so we just grabbed a few beers from the 7-11 and took it all in. Two days later, we went to Macau, the gambling capital of the world, and did some gambling. We played roulette, and I lost badly. Justin was in my camp, and Alec somehow won close to $200. The following day we went to Ocean Park, which is apparently regarded as one of the best theme parks in the world. We saw pandas and rode roller coasters. It was awesome. Besides that, the rest of the trip was just chilling out! Got some Christmas presents knocked out at the markets and read my book. Can't beat that.

Some general notes:

The time to decide if I want to stay for a second year is nearing. It was really reassuring to me that I missed Jeju when I was gone. I'll keep you posted on my decision!

The post-college realization that I won't maintain all my friendships sucks. You get so close with people over the course of four years, and sometimes reaching out isn't enough I suppose. You find out who's important more quickly than you expect. That's been hitting me kind of hard lately.

You find out who you can and cannot travel with after less than 24 hours of traveling with them.

The guy who came up with the name "pumpernickel" must've been stoned out of his mind. "So we've got the white bread... the wheat bread... and HA... pumpkernickel... HA..."

There is no better feeling than eating real vegetables after 10 days on the road.

The more and more I spend my time away from home, the more I see myself staying away (sorry, Mom). I love and miss Chicago, and perhaps I'll end up there someday or elsewhere in the States, but at 23, the idea of seeing more and more of the world is really appealing. I don't know if that goes away with time or if that's just who I am. Everywhere I go, I meet people and hear about new things that I want to see. My bestest friend Kelly Cahalin is talking about going to Nepal next year, and all I can think about is how cool it would be to visit Nepal. Is that an opportunity I could take if I were in the States? I just don't know. Lots of mind churning these days.

I've met more Canadians in the last year than I had ever met before in my life. Mikey and I met a bunch on our European travels, and I work with and am surrounded by lots of them here. To date, I haven't met a Canadian that I outright didn't like. A good breed overall, those way-Northerners.

Finally, here is a time-lapse video of our journey back from the big Buddha, courtesy of the dedicated photographer Alec Lorraine:

Anyway, that's all I've got for now. Bed time. Back to work tomorrow and the kids return Sunday! 6 weeks until I'm home for Christmas, and I can't wait to see everyone. Thanks for taking the time to read, folks. Adios.

Punches and the Postseason

Hello, all! Tuesday afternoon, my day off, and I just got back from a nice motorcycle ride out along a coastal road and up to my favorite little cafe on the water that I've been frequenting for the last few weeks. They're starting to know what I want when I come in, so I'd say that's a success. It was a little buggy out (as in I was eating mouthfuls of bugs as I rode), so I turned in early in favor of a blog post and a nap.

This past Saturday, I took my 6/7 grade boys soccer team up to Seoul with my co-coach and good pal Michael Chu (Mr. Chu if you're into K-pop). We woke up around 4:30AM, got everyone on the bus by 5:30, and took off around 7:55. We landed in Seoul, got some food, and hopped on the bus to go to Dulwich College. It felt really good to be back in a big city. I love the island and the beach and the ability to just go off and have alone time, but I'm a city boy at heart. We made it to the school, and we played four games considerably better than we played our first 11-0 loss. We went 1-2-1, getting our first goal and our first win.

We did have one incident in which one of our boys punched another boy who had been chirping at him on the field. It was a big ordeal and the coach and headmaster from the other team kind of freaked out. A long story short, we had to dismiss him from the team, and that was a stain on an otherwise lovely tournament.

Besides that, it's business as usual here. The postseason baseball schedule has thrown off my sleep schedule a bit. Tonight, I'm waking up at 3:30AM to watch game three. Should be a fun Wednesday morning! I have 12 days until I leave for Seoul and Hong Kong, and I can't wait. The protests in Hong Kong have been at the front of our minds, but we're hoping that they're easy enough to avoid. There's currently no advisories out saying not to go there, so the trip is still going forward.

I got to Skype my favorite Katie Bell today, and my parents, Aunt Sue, and grandparents this past Sunday, so it's been nice having some contact with home. I can't wait to be back and see friends and family in December! I may look a bit different then! My hair is getting really long, to the point where I have to brush it out of my eyes and wear a headband when I ride the motorcycle or play sports.

My best pal Michael Dienstbach and I are talking about taking a road trip out West this summer in the States, so that is a fun thing to keep in mind recently. I've been taking spare moments to look up attractions. Could be a blast. As far as new music, these are my albums of the week:

Hozier - Hozier
Shakey Graves - And The War Came
Sara Bareilles - Kaleidoscope Heart
Paper Bird - Rooms

All highly suggested. I've made some fun connections at home since I got here that have been really enjoyable for me who most certainly deserve some recognition. Young Ellen Heaghney, a family friend who is in a program in Paris during her freshman year of college, and I have been chatting about our abroad experiences, and it's been really loving reliving my abroad days and hearing about her experiences! Keep up the adventuring, Ellen! Alicen Schade, a friend from college, is also abroad currently in her post-grad life, and she's headed to Cuba (you heard me, Cuba) in a few days through her program. It's been so cool hearing about her experiences when she's available, and I'm wishing her the best of luck as she ventures to a country that not many Americans get the opportunity to go to. Appreciate it and enjoy it, Alicen! Finally, I've been emailing old SLUH teachers from time to time, and that's been really enjoyable for me. Their presence on Facebook is even better; from Frank Corley ranting about Mike Matheny (I'm officially with you, Mr. Corley), to pictures of the adorable children of Lauren Dickens, being on a somewhat friendly level with those who helped shape me into who I am is really wonderful. Definitely folks I hope to see when I'm home in December!

That's about all I have for now. My day was just made, as I received a package from my godfather/uncle Peter containing the full Australian Wildred on DVD and a collection of Vonnegut graduation speeches. Thanks, Uncle Pete! Hope everyone has a lovely week.

-Ryan

Trying My Patience

The last week or so, the boys have been trying my patience. I knew this time would come; I guess I just didn't suspect so soon. Many of the decisions the higher ups are making about their freedoms are being pinned on me and my immediate house staff, when we really have no control over it, and the boys are rebelling. Not to mention the general boneheaded decisions that middle schoolers make. For instance, we had 6 kids try to escape in the middle of the night over the fence, and they were swiftly caught. They were trying to go to the closed gas station for microwave noodles.

One of my kids discovered the n-word in a rap song and doesn't seem to realize the implications of the word, so that's been fun. Another kid tried to pass the argument with me that "all boys our age watch porn. You know we need to be able to." That was hard not to laugh through. He legitimately thought that would change the IT department's mind about their policies on porn.

It's been a long week, but I'm off tomorrow and the next day, and I can't wait. Last off days, we hiked up the famous Sunrise Peak, which was beautiful. My birthday was Wednesday, and the love shown to me from friends far and near was really revitalizing as far as the bad week I was having and the homesickness. It felt really good. My roommates from college sent me a book about bourbon which was awesome, and I received cards from several family members including both sets of grandparents and my dear Aunt Sue. Thanks so much, everyone! You made the week much better!

Wednesday night I went out with two friends to a local pub that had a decent beer or two on tap, and we turned in early since I had to work the next morning. It was a great birthday overall. Tuesday, we're planning on going transparent kayaking if the weather holds up, and I can't wait. I'm looking forward to Skyping with my sister and my parents, and I had wonderful Skype sessions earlier this week with several friends. Fingers crossed that grandma and grandpa Bedell can get it up and running soon!

I've been surprisingly discovering a ton of music since I got here. Some of the albums I'm growing to love:
Former Lives - Benjamin Gibbard
This Is All Yours - alt-J
They Want My Soul - Spoon
In The Lonely Hour - Sam Smith
Caustic Love - Paolo Nuttini
Wish I Was Here (Soundtrack) - Various Artists
Story Of My Life - Shakey Graves

All worth your time. I am starting to crave American foods and drinks. I'm compiling a large list of must-haves for December. My friend Mandaline is in Saint Louis this weekend, and I'm jealous of the Ted Drewes and other things she's having. December is soon! I had Quizno's today, which felt really dirty and like cheating for some reason. But it was delicious, and I regret nothing.

Another highlight of the week was hearing from my good pal Michael Meyer, who I hope to be conversing more with soon. Such a gem! Besides that, life's going overall well, and I hope to hear from anyone and everyone soon. Have a good one!

Chuseok and Other Updates

Yesterday marked the end of my first break here at KIS. I had airport duty last night, which was hectic to say the least. I love most everything about the school here, but sometimes there is a huge lack of organization, which can be a little frustrating. It seems that often the administrators, teachers, and dorm staff are all on different wavelengths about certain things. That’s my only current complaint though!

Last week Friday began Chuseok break. Chuseok is the equivalent of the Korean Thanksgiving. Friday night, we had a potluck then all went out as a staff. It was a lot of fun! Saturday morning, I woke up and left for a small island off the east coast of Jeju called U-do. We drove to the east side then took a ferry, which was kind of fun. Once we got to U-do, there were a bunch of other people from Jeju schools, and it was nice to meet some people outside of KIS. We played beach volleyball, swam, then camped overnight, staying up late around a fire on the beach.

The next day, we stayed until 4pm or so swimming and playing volleyball, then made the trek back to KIS. On the way home, we stopped at a restaurant where we had a very spicy stir-fry chicken dish, which was then covered in cheese. It also had sweet potato dumplings in it. It was incredible, but the spicy was intense.

Monday, we bummed around all day then went to the casino at night. I lost, but it was fun. It’s illegal for Koreans to gamble, but tourists can, which is kind of weird. It was basically a dozen or so Chinese folks and us Americans. I wore my suit and a black bow tie just to class it up Casino Royale style. Tuesday was relaxing. A friend and I ventured to some waterfalls close to the beach. The island is really really beautiful, and I love the little nooks and crannies that you can find like that. Still trying to process that I can visit things like that whenever I want.

Wednesday, the kids came back. In a way, it was nice to see them again, but a little sad to leave the peace and quiet behind! Now, it’s straight through to the end of October before my next break. Then, before I know it, I’ll be venturing home for the Boesch wedding and Christmas festivities. Time travels at light speed these days. I bought a car today! So that's another fun development. Looking forward to taking it out around the island.

I also figured out how to write my address on an envelope! So that’s a fun development. If you feel like sending anything to me (first of all, you rock), send me a message, and I’ll send you the photo of how it should look.

Shout out to my incredible cousin, Charlotte Samuels! Girl can swim. She just completed the “triple crown of open water swimming” at age 15, the youngest person to ever do so, and also did all three swims in the shortest span of time at 74 days. If you ever need motivation, there’s your girl. She swam over twenty hours in the English Channel. I can’t think of anything I’ve ever done for 20 hours straight, let alone something that exhausts you. You’re a champ, Char!

That’s really all to report for now. Will write again if anything fun comes up. Thanks for reading!

-Ryan

One Month In

"Travel can be one of the most rewarding forms of introspection."
- Lawrence Durrell

I left home a month ago today. So much has happened in this month! I'm getting to know my students better, and we've already had our ups and downs. It's no fun to discipline the kids, but they know the rules and rather intentionally break them sometimes. That's the least fun part of the job. The bright side is that I know I'm doing the job well and I'm having fun! I'm happy, and life at the school and on the island has been great.

I've kept in good touch with most folks at home, Skyping and Facebook messaging and such! Hearing from home is always nice, so do hit me up if you feel so inclined.

The most recent development here is that I was offered another job which I ultimately decided to turn down, but it really presented me with a decision that I feel ended up being a major life decision. I was offered the opportunity to leave my current position and become the school's Assistant Athletic Director/Head Lifeguard. It wouldn't have involved a pay raise or anything this year, but I was flattered that the athletic director came to me first with the offer. The decision it presented is this: is sports my future, or is the education side more my future?

The kicker is that the director originally wanted to know the next day if I wanted the job. While the dilemma between sports and education was on my mind anyway, I knew that if sports was my future, AD would look better than Dorm Assistant. I thought about it overnight, getting very little sleep, then met with some of my bosses and coworkers the next day to get their opinions, and in the end, I decided to turn it down.

I think I've come to a decision that education is where I see my career heading from here. I had been thinking about it even before I came to Jeju, but being here has only reaffirmed this desire in me. Who knows when going back to school will be for me, but a master's in higher education sounds like it could be something I have interest in. My good friend Alex Boesch is off tackling that degree in Vermont now, so I suppose I will have to pick his brain in the future. My good friend and mentor Dr. Beazley could probably also provide some guidance! I have to keep telling myself that I don't have to make any decisions right now. The job offer really put all of this to the forefront of my mind, and now that I've made an immediate decision, I need to remind myself that I can put it to the back burner for a bit.

I bought a small dirt bike this week for transportation, a Hyosung RX125. So I officially have wheels to explore the island, and I have been doing so! Went to the beach yesterday on my day off, and today into the city. Additionally, I bought a classical guitar. These small things have made it start to feel more like home here. You take transportation for granted until you don't have it and you're stranded on campus all day! Feels good to finally be able to come and go as I please. Been on a few hikes, and hoping to throw in a few more soon as well. No complaints currently!

Still loving the people and the place, and a month in, I think that's a good sign. Still missing you all at home and am excited to see everyone in December. My first break from school starts Friday, and a camping trip is in my future. Can't wait. Have a good week, family and friends!

-Ryan

Rest in peace, Chris Zandstra. 6/16/91 - 9/2/07