Saturday, August 27, 2016

Criticism

This one's been brewing in my brain for a few weeks now, and today, there was a catalyst that was finally able to help me put coherent thoughts together. Perhaps some of you read today's news story about Colin Kaepernick. In short, he's a pro football player who sat during the national anthem during a preseason game this week. He explained in the post-game that he didn't feel he could stand up for America right now because something is wrong with it, specifically in regards to racial inequality.

Well, gosh darnit, Colin, good for you. I want to talk for a second about criticism. There tends to be this negative connotation to the word 'criticism,' and I don't think it's a negative word. For me, criticism ultimately means improvement. Does that mean that criticism can't be used to harm or insult others? Of course it doesn't. There's a nice way to go about criticism and a not-so-nice way, just like there is with anything else. However, people are so uncomfortable with hearing that something is wrong with themselves, or with a task they're doing, or even with the country they're from, that criticism has developed a reputation as a dirty word.

Instead of criticism, we say, "Let me offer some advice." Again, not altogether incorrect, but in most instances where someone is offering "advice," they're really offering criticism. The dictionary defines criticism as "the act of expressing disapproval and of noting the problems or faults of a person or thing." If you ask me, noting faults and disapproving of them isn't a bad thing. Instead, it's how you help people, ideas, and places to grow into their best selves.

My dear friend Pedro once told me that I was particular bad at taking criticism. It was kind of funny because I immediately got really defensive (seeing the irony in that?). I try to be more mindful of it now; that's for sure. We always think that we're right and that we know the best way to do things. It's good to be confident to a certain degree, but we shouldn't be so confident as to not realize that we don't always do everything right. I think that one of the biggest roles a friend should play is to straight up tell you when you're wrong. So many of my good friends are willing to do this for me, and I appreciate and respect it.

So, let's wrap back around to Colin Kaepernick. The man sat on the bench during the anthem to offer a criticism, and holy hell, did some people get really angry. I did some brief looking through the Twitter world, and people were accusing him of "hating the country that made him a millionaire,"of being an "idiot," of being "disrespecful," and of a whole host of other things.

The people saying things like this, while offering their own criticisms of the act, are misguided. Colin isn't unAmerican. He isn't a traitor who hates America. I would argue that he cares about America a whole lot if he is willing to criticize it and try to make it better.

When did America become so creepy and cult-like? "Sing the anthem and recite the pledge of allegiance, or you can move back to wherever you came from, you commie!" Do people really not see what the problem with blind faith in anything is? You have to be willing to ask questions, to criticize, and to not be proud of something for it to work. Let me dumb it down a bit.

So, you write a paper for school. It has to be 25 pages long. You write the whole thing, and you turn it in the second you've typed the last word. Do you think it will be any good? Sometimes perhaps! Most writers however, will read their own work over and over again, fixing it, criticizing it, questioning if things are right. For some reason, so many people are unwilling to do that in regards to the place they call home. Why can't we proofread it a bit instead of taking the actions of our country for creed?

I had a discussion with my mom when I was home a few weeks ago, and I offered a lot of criticisms of America, of Trump, of my home. She shot back at me at one point by saying, "Well, I'm sure Italy has its problems, too!" She's darn right! I think people think that because I don't live in the US, I think where I'm living is heaven on earth and that when I criticize the US, it's because things are so much better here. Let me be the first to tell you that in a lot of ways, Italy is a complete shit-show. It doesn't even take close scrutiny to see it. However, for some reason, if I talk about racial inequality or gun control in the States, I often receive a lot of backlash (Kaepernick was pretty clear that he knew the backlash was coming). If I talk about racism in Italy, the mafia, how inefficiently things run, or any other problem here, it generally isn't taken as a hatred for Italy. It's a criticism, and most Italians are thick-skinned enough to take it.

What happened to the thick skin, America? When did we get so awful at taking criticism? When did we decide that pointing out mistakes or faults meant I was a bad friend? I don't think I'm unAmerican at all. I care very deeply about America. I think it has the potential to be a great nation. We used to be a nation of immigrants, and now we have disdain for them. The national identity used to be the melting pot, and we took pride in it. I don't think that's so much the case anymore.

America has always had its problems, and there's always been resistance to change. People like Kaepernick who have a big stage that they can stand on and say, "something isn't right here," should do so. There's a lot in America that isn't right. A hell of a lot of days, I'm not proud to the point of shame for being an American, and that's okay. Humans feel shame when they do stupid stuff, and America is part of my identity, so I feel shame when it does stupid stuff. It's logical.

Learn to take criticism. See it as a way to move forward and not a way to point fingers and debate loyalty.