Cultural Differences

For some reason, the urge to write always dawns upon me late at night. I've had a few people in the last week ask me what the biggest cultural differences are between Korea and the US. I have only my opinion, but I shall spell out what I see as best as I can, in no particular order.

1. Eating. Besides the obvious chopsticks, it's been weird for me adjusting to the way that my boys eat. Eating here is a heck of a lot more audible than at home. If it's noodles, the polite way to eat them is literally to grab as much as you can with the chopsticks and slurp. Apparently, audibly eating is a sign of respect, as if to say, "This is so good that I'm eating it like a hungry bear." It's actually quite liberating when you're noodles to just dig in without the formalities. The diet is way different. Rice and kimchi are available at every meal. At restaurants, there's a whole side dish course that comes out before the food and is free. Eating culture in general here just caught me by surprise.

2. Driving. I'm not trying to perpetuate any stereotypes, but the driving test here must be as easy as writing your name at the top. The following clip demonstrates all too accurately what you deal with regularly here.

Basically, it's an free-for-all, and you better be hyperaware of those around you. Surprisingly, I don't see 20 car pileups every day, so maybe a crippling fear is all we really need in the States to avoid accidents.

3. Bowing. This sounds like a ridiculous one, but every Korean you acknowledge, you're usually doing it with a bow. I know that when I'm home in December, I will be bowing to everyone I see without thinking about it.

4. The Internet. Sorry, folks, but the US is millennia behind. I'm really surprised if I'm somewhere and I don't have fast, free WiFi here. It's ridiculously fast. I rarely if ever have issues with Skyping, and it is glorious. Downloads happen in seconds instead of in minutes. It is absolutely wonderful, and the US needs to take notes.

5. Health and fitness. Everyone is as thin as a rail, but there doesn't really seem to be any emphasis on health or working out. My boys enjoy sports, but the idea of running or lifting weights is pretty repulsive to most of them. As far as staff, I see two Korean gentlemen in the gym from time to time, but besides that, all foreign staff. The boys would rather eat Ramen for every meal than anything else, and I get the feeling that when they're home, they're spoiled, and it literally is Ramen and fried chicken for every meal.

6. Music. K-pop, man. It's everywhere. The boys like lots of American pop, but generally like really epic Korean ballads and K-pop are their go-to. I was lucky with my group, and they all have interest in guitar, so they like John Mayer, Eric Clapton, and Jimi Hendrix. Otherwise, I may have been wearing noise canceling headphones a lot more often.

7. Parental relationships. Tons of pressure from the parents on everything. Most of the boys have never heard their parents say they love them. They show that they care in other ways, such as making sure they're fed at all times. I noticed it a lot when I met parents at the soccer tournament earlier this year; on the surface, it looks a lot like a strictly-business relationship, but you can see that the parents do what they do because they care.

8. Masculine/Feminine roles. My boys are super feminine. It took me a while to get used to their morning routines which involve blow drying their hair, applying excessive amounts of cologne, and ironing their shirts. Emotion is more readily displayed with the boys I've come to find. Sitting on each other's laps and holding hands in the hall way is normal. As far as girls, the roles seem to be more traditional than at home, but the school also does a good job of making sure that girls don't just slide into a role that they're expected to assume. It seems to be a newer thing than at home that women are coming out of the household and into the workplace, but maybe I'm misinterpreting.

9. Gaming. At home, if you're into World of Warcraft or League of Legends, you might be considered a nerd. Here, people are making money doing it. The kids are obsessed and watch YouTube videos of the best players. The boys are never happier than when they're at their computers gaming, which is half horrifying in that I worry it cripples their imagination, and half helpful because I get silence when they have MacBook time.

10. Age Distinctions. I think I mean multiple things by this. First of all, unless a Korean is really old or really young, it's really hard for me to distinguish how old they are. I have coworkers who I thought were 20 who are in their late 30s. Some of my boys look like they could be in 2nd grade instead of 7th. Additionally, the way that ages treat each other is strange. The older kids can really hold things over the younger kids heads. Apparently, a lot of bullying occurs based on age. For instance, apparently, one of the kids told a younger boy he had to prostrate him self to him every time he saw him. Strange stuff, man.

Anyway, I'm feeling the yawns, and that's the first ten that came to my head. Have a good weekend, people.

What I Learned From Coaching And My Motorcycle

Yesterday marked the end of my first coaching gig. I also had a really awesome motorcycle ride.

Coaching soccer was kind of a last minute thing. They had so many boys try out for soccer that they decided they wanted to do a B-team so that more boys would get to play. I, along with my co-coach Michael Chu, took on the B-team. Right around the same time, I bought a beat up old dirt bike off of a British dude.

The first day of practice, I remember standing with Michael watching the scrimmage and saying, "We are completely hopeless. These kids don't know a thing about soccer." They could barely even complete a pass to one another. We started at square one with passing and settling. That was in the middle of August. Similarly, I began at square one of the motorcycle. Having never ridden one as a means of transportation before, I rode it around the building right before I bought it, and I almost rear-ended the car in front of me at the first stop light I pulled up to.

We lost our first game 11-0 against the British school up the street. They brought their A-team with seventh and eighth graders. We brought our B-team with mostly sixth grade kids who could barely speak English and were playing in the dirt on defense (literally, they were playing in the dirt). In the first week of having the motorcycle, I noticed that the accelerator was sticking, and that it was very unsafe to ride. Having just made the purchase, I was very discouraged.

Some weeks passed as we prepared for a tournament up in Seoul. We started to see glimmers of hope in the boys' play, and Michael and I agreed that scoring one goal and or getting a draw would be our secret coaches' goal for the tournament. The boys were terrified. They came out in the first game and forced a 0-0 draw. Excitement! They came out in the second and third game and narrowly lost. In the fourth game, we had our first goal of the season. Right before we left for the tournament, my boss Bryan quickly and easily helped me fix the motorcycle.

After the tournament, practice resumed as usual with no games on the schedule for the rest of the season. We were hoping to get a rematch against the British team's B-squad, but besides that, it was just going out on Monday and Wednesdays and having fun. The boys enjoyed a more laid back attitude, and so did we. The weather was beautiful, and I found some great routes around the coast to take my motorcycle out for a spin. The views were stunning.

When mid-term grades came back, over half of our team was ineligible. One of our boys lost his passport coming back from break in China and was stuck there. We didn't have enough to field a team for a scheduled rematch against the British squad, and Michael and I resolved to just letting the boys scrimmage at practice. The headlight went out on my motorcycle. I went to fix it, and on the way to the shop, I ran out of gas and had to walk it a mile to the gas station.

For our last practice, Michael and I told the boys we would be playing in a scrimmage with them. As we played, I noticed beautiful connecting passes, incredible defense from a boy who had the self-confidence of a pea all season, an understanding of the strategy Michael and I had put in place, movement on and off the ball, and countless other improvements. Michael and I stood together at the end of practice marveling at the progress the boys had made. It was one of my proudest moments at this job so far. Earlier in the day, I had taken the motorcycle for a ride on a seaside road with incredible views of the giant mountain closest to campus. As I rode, I realized how free my mind was from the stupid stresses that come with any job. I didn't miss home then; I realized how lucky I was to be in such a beautiful place on a beat up old dirtbike going wherever I felt like.

I realize how well I've gotten to know myself in these last few months. I realize who I want to be and how I want to be. I realize what I need to stay sane around a bunch of middle school boys when sometimes it seems like their life goal is to make me go insane. I realize that while I'm off doing what I'm doing, home is always going to be there, and I'm making lots and lots of different homes, too. I think up until recently, I've had a massive fear of missing out. I miss my friends at home like crazy. I miss my parents and my sister. I was holding back from getting attached to this place. I think coaching and my motorcycle showed me that this place is somewhere I can get used to.

When I left, although I was ready to go abroad and wanted to, in a way, it felt like I was running from something. I didn't get my dream job; I went through a break up; I felt like I had no direction. I don't really believe in some higher power dictating my life, but I do think I'm meant to be here. I'm in a really good place overall, and I think I'd like to come back for a second year if the school offers me a promotion. It's decision time in the next few weeks!

Hey, thanks for reading. It's six weeks until I'm home and get to see so many people that I'm missing so much. Hope you're having as good of a week as I am.

-Ryan

Fall Break: Seoul and Hong Kong

With an 11-day trip, more than I can tell happened, so I'm going to hit the highlights!

Seoul, October 26 to October 30:

Ten of us from the KIS dorm staff stayed in an Airbnb in Seoul's Hongik University area. It's a young people's part of the town with the university there, so there were tons of options for shopping and eating. The main place we traveled to was Itaewon, the foreigners part of town. It had tons of shopping and foods we can't get in Jeju, like American BBQ (the best BBQ I've had in years) and Mexican food. Needless to say, we took full advantage. It was a bit crazy with ten people in one apartment, but it was a lot of fun. It was good to just have some time to relax. We visited a large palace one day with a beautiful garden, and we went bowling another day. It was really nice to not have plans, to just be able to go do what I wanted when I wanted to. That was the general theme of Seoul. I liked the size and the atmosphere of the city, too.

Hong Kong, October 30 to November 5:

Hong Kong was the bulk of the trip, and I traveled with my friends Justin and Alec. My first impression when we showed up was the height. Everything is built vertically and right on top of each other. It's a big, little city. The second thing I noticed was the crowds. Everywhere was a mess of people. By the end of 6 days, I was very tired of it! We started with a couple of days of just going around the town and sightseeing. We saw the beautiful view from Victoria's peak, went to markets in Mong Kok (near the protests, but there wasn't any action when we were there!), and went to the night markets. On Halloween, we went to Lan Kwai Fong, the bar district. The streets were so packed we couldn't move, so we just grabbed a few beers from the 7-11 and took it all in. Two days later, we went to Macau, the gambling capital of the world, and did some gambling. We played roulette, and I lost badly. Justin was in my camp, and Alec somehow won close to $200. The following day we went to Ocean Park, which is apparently regarded as one of the best theme parks in the world. We saw pandas and rode roller coasters. It was awesome. Besides that, the rest of the trip was just chilling out! Got some Christmas presents knocked out at the markets and read my book. Can't beat that.

Some general notes:

The time to decide if I want to stay for a second year is nearing. It was really reassuring to me that I missed Jeju when I was gone. I'll keep you posted on my decision!

The post-college realization that I won't maintain all my friendships sucks. You get so close with people over the course of four years, and sometimes reaching out isn't enough I suppose. You find out who's important more quickly than you expect. That's been hitting me kind of hard lately.

You find out who you can and cannot travel with after less than 24 hours of traveling with them.

The guy who came up with the name "pumpernickel" must've been stoned out of his mind. "So we've got the white bread... the wheat bread... and HA... pumpkernickel... HA..."

There is no better feeling than eating real vegetables after 10 days on the road.

The more and more I spend my time away from home, the more I see myself staying away (sorry, Mom). I love and miss Chicago, and perhaps I'll end up there someday or elsewhere in the States, but at 23, the idea of seeing more and more of the world is really appealing. I don't know if that goes away with time or if that's just who I am. Everywhere I go, I meet people and hear about new things that I want to see. My bestest friend Kelly Cahalin is talking about going to Nepal next year, and all I can think about is how cool it would be to visit Nepal. Is that an opportunity I could take if I were in the States? I just don't know. Lots of mind churning these days.

I've met more Canadians in the last year than I had ever met before in my life. Mikey and I met a bunch on our European travels, and I work with and am surrounded by lots of them here. To date, I haven't met a Canadian that I outright didn't like. A good breed overall, those way-Northerners.

Finally, here is a time-lapse video of our journey back from the big Buddha, courtesy of the dedicated photographer Alec Lorraine:

Anyway, that's all I've got for now. Bed time. Back to work tomorrow and the kids return Sunday! 6 weeks until I'm home for Christmas, and I can't wait to see everyone. Thanks for taking the time to read, folks. Adios.