Shower Thoughts

Lately, I've had some heavy stuff on my mind. The fact that the Beazley family is leaving is a not-so-pleasant thought at least a few times a day. I'm going to Bosnia, Serbia, Croatia, and Slovenia this week, and I've done a bit too much reading about genocide for my brain this week. Reapplying for the SLA job and eventual grad school looms large on the horizon. Trump is looking like he could become the next president (I threw up in my mouth a bit as I wrote that). I'm still as happy as ever, but the weight of some of these things on my mind has caused me to pause and take time to lighten the mood a bit and remember how great life is. So, that's what I'm doing.

Every week I write a satirical newsletter for our campus's soccer league. It's usually ridiculous and very stream-of-consciousness writing, leading one of my bosses to say at one point, "It's a glimpse into whatever is going on inside your head sometimes." Admittedly, I have some scatter-brained thoughts. I've titled them shower thoughts because I suppose that's the genre of thinking it is, but these are the random thoughts that occurred to me throughout the day today that I wrote down for the sake of this post. Some are horribly bizarre. All are without explanation.

1. Why are Christmas songs so creepy? Santa Claus Is Coming To Town sounds like it's an anthem in 1984.

2. Ciao means hello and goodbye. That's just lazy.

3. If you wear high enough shoes, you can always wear mismatched socks.

4. Do you think other species are aware that what they eat affects how they poop?

5. What if I didn't wake up today? Death by ribs would be a weird way to go.

6. The only two Bible stories I ever think about are the good Samaritan and the woman at the well. The far right has casually forgotten these.

7. What does English sound like to Italian dogs?

8. If an alien landed on earth, what would be the most bizarre thing they found? Raisins or ripped jeans get my votes.

9. Babies are basically tiny stoned adults.

10. If I practiced enough, could I be the best mime there ever was?

11. The first time someone wore shoes they probably weren't comfortable, so why do we wear shoes today? What idiot invented wooden shoes? Did the shoe or the sock come first?

12. Do you think the first rat-tail haircut came from someone with a really weird balding pattern?

That's the average things in my brain for the course of a day. When I'm trying to get my mind off of whatever is shitty in the world, this is what my brain wanders to. Have a great week, everyone!