I said, “Empty your mind. Be formless, shapeless, like water.” Now, you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”
Today, I leave for six weeks in China for work, which felt like as good a time as ever to resurrect the blog. The last post I published was November of 2020, and it was about the need to have hope, which 5 years later feels about as prevalent as it was then.
During my six weeks in China, I’ll be leading 29 students on what is basically a study trip (shout out SLAs if you’re reading). I’ll be in Beijing, Hangzhou, and Shanghai. I’ve done this before to plenty of places in the world, and I’ve lived abroad for years, but I’m still nervous, which comes with any major life event like this.
The Bruce Lee quote above, while apt for a trip to China, is something I’ve tried to let guide me for most of my adult life. My boss Sam, best boss ever, approached me in late winter and asked if I wanted to lead this trip, and I excitedly agreed. I didn’t even think about how much work it would be (and boy, has it been). I didn’t think about the things that worry me now, like being away from friends and family with limited internet access, or the students potentially acting a fool. I thought about being water, adapting, doing things that allow me to become something else. No matter what happens on this trip, I will learn and change for the better, and that’s really my goal in life at this point.
Three-ish years ago when I moved back to Chicago, I never thought I would be packing everything I own into a storage unit and leaving for China. I find that the best things in life often come in the unexpected: a new friend, a postcard from a friend, a particularly delicious meal. Water doesn’t decide where to go; it flows, and trying to tow the line between being too much of a “yes man” and allowing myself to follow the path put in front of me is something I think about often. That said, most of the time when I say yes, I don’t regret it. Being water has led me to dozens of countries, to hundreds of friends, and to experiences most folks only dream of. Next week, I’ll be standing on the Great Wall of China. That hasn’t yet settled in, but one thing I do know is that I’m lucky, and I never want to stop seizing opportunities to do the new and unexpected.
Sometimes, my friends who are a bit more settled than me will say things like “Man, your life sounds great! Just picking up and going to China!” While we all have our struggles, I take a lot of pride in being able to respond that yes, my life is pretty great. The world is ripe with horrors, and I want to keep working to improve the world, but amidst the horrors we have to carve out our place in the world. I think my place might be to be water. I like being water.
Entering my mid-30s hasn’t come without its thoughts of self-doubt. The big questions feel more present now than ever. Do I want to get married? Do I want to settle down somewhere? Do I want to stay in one job for more than a few years? The short answer is that I don’t know, and I’ve entirely come to peace with that. No day is guaranteed, and what matters isn’t the long-term. What matters is who we are. What matters is showing up for our communities. What matters is sticking to the values you know to be just and moral. I could die tomorrow, and sad as my last moments might be for the end, I’d die with a smile. I wouldn’t change a thing.
I like who I am. I’m absolutely fucking terrified to go to China for 6 weeks, but I like that I made the decision to do it. That’s what matters to me at the onset of this experience.
My future posts on this trip will likely be more logistical. I’ll post photos and outline what I’ve been up to for anyone who wants to follow along (likely just my family and like 3 friends, but you all are worth it). I’ll miss everyone so much. My friends have been sending well wishes and making sure they get to see me before I go, and I feel so loved. Is there anything better in life than to love and be loved? I think not.
The next time someone asks you to do something outside of your comfort zone, even if it’s a bit smaller than extended periods abroad, seriously consider saying yes. Being water has given me a life I couldn’t have imagined as a younger man, one that I love to reflect on and shape as I go.
Sometimes life isn’t about forging your own path; it’s about accepting the opportunities that present themselves to you. If you’ve ever thought I had an iota of intelligence, give it a try. If you hate it, you can blame me, but I imagine you’ll create more incredible life experiences the more you adapt to the path set before you.
Don’t be a stranger.
Be water, my friend.
