Hangzhou (Weeks 2, 3, and 4)

I leave China in 8 days; it's really hard to believe it's already been 5 weeks. We've been in Hangzhou since I last wrote, and got into a bit of a routine. We would have language classes from 8:30AM to noon (most of which I had to work during). The students did a great job and learned a lot, but between my side gig, tasks from the Chinese hosts, and Chicago duties, I really didn't pick up much, which is unfortunate. After the classes, we would have a break for lunch, then typically have a seminar and an excursion in the afternoon. Seminars ranged from cultural differences between the US and China to solar infrastructure. I was often able to pay attention in these, and do feel like I learned a lot.

We moved this week to a different hotel on the other side of town so that the students can begin their internship portion of the program. We are at a battery factory, and students are doing everything from factory floor work to behind the scenes stuff. I have most of the time to myself just waiting for them, which is nice. They're nice kids for the most part, but it's been a lot of time with them, and I'm ready for a break from playing chaperone.

I think the hardest part of China for me is the loneliness. I've been doing a lot of going out an exploring alone, which I'm usually keen to do on shorter trips, but I really miss my friends. Even if I would only go out once or twice a week to see folks, it gave me something to look forward to. I miss playing soccer. I'm having an incredible time in China, and it's nothing against China itself; it's just a really long trip, and it's hard to make friends when you don't know the language.

I struggle with that, because I keep reminding myself that this is the opportunity of a lifetime. For the rest of my life, I’ll remember that in 2025, I had an incredible 6-week trip to China. I saw things most people only dream of. I only get one life, and this summer is contributing to my living it the way I want to live it. Sometimes, I’m realizing, living your dreams isn’t always rainbows and sunshine. Sometimes, taking on a challenge like this, for all the rewards, is still a lot of fucking work.

I could get so used to the cost of living here. Last night, I got Korean bibimbap, which might cost me $15-20 if not more in the US. It cost me $3. The subway is 50 cents. A beer is a dollar. A coffee is a dollar. The most expensive things I've gotten are souvenirs for family, and even those weren't too bad.

It would take some serious concessions for me to want to come back and do this next year, but it's not off the table. Something to approach with work when I get home. I recently found out where I'll be living when I get back to Chicago, and I'll be living with a lifelong friend Phil, so I have much to look forward to.

My autumn is packed; New York for work, Rome for my birthday, Columbus for Halloween, Perth in Western Australia for my good buddy Richard's wedding in November. This trip has been incredible, but as I near the end, the anticipation for these things is growing. Much like the last six weeks, time tends to fly.

I've eaten so much Chinese food, from squid to eel to every type of chicken body part to vegetables I had never heard of and more rice than I thought I could consume in a 6 week period. It's been a delicious journey, but I think I'll want a break from Chinese cuisine for a bit when I get home.

To those who have reached out and asked how I am or just said hello, it's really helped me stay mentally afloat while here. I think I've called my parents more in the last 6 weeks than in the previous 6 months before that. I don't know what absence does to the heart, but I do know that I have missed everyone very, very much.

Anyway, I'm rambling. I'll do one more post at the end of all this I imagine, but for now, adios from Hangzhou.

Beijing & Week 1 Hangzhou

The first thing I noticed on the taxi ride from the Beijing airport to the hotel was that the city is so green. There are trees everywhere. In one of the largest cities in the world, it's refreshing that such development is possible.

My first real venture into the city was for some reason terrifying, but incredible. It’s a vibrant, clean city. The dumplings I had at Baoyuan were incredible. One with shrimp and pork and beansprouts, another with pork, “yellow flower,” and bean sprout. I realized I didn’t even know how to say water or bathroom. The whole meal cost me $6.

It very much reminds me of being in India and feeling a bit helpless. I don’t know how to communicate. I don’t know the customs or rules even with the preliminary research I’ve done. It’s scarier in my older age, giving up control to the environment around me. The stares at the giant white guy in the room feel the same as India as well. I don’t mind it, but it is a bit unsettling at first.

The first week included 2 Michelin star meals for less than $80 each and a green energy conference organized for the students with prominent Chinese scholars talking about everything from solar power to the iron industry. It was a bit tough given how tired they all were from jet lag, but very interesting. Then the last two days of the week were cultural visits around Beijing including the Great Wall, Summer Palace, Temple of Heaven, Tianamen Square, and the famous Hutongs, ancient shopping streets. After week 1 of 6, I was already exhausted. We took the bullet train to Hangzhou where we began language classes on Monday. The language is incredibly difficult, which I assumed would be the case, but I was not at all prepared for just how difficult. Two words spelled the same way with just a tiny bit of different inflection can change the meaning. My attention is divided in class as I field questions on WeChat from my Chinese counterparts, and I don't imagine I'll pick up much beyond the basics.

Our first week in Hangzhou has been excellent. We've had cultural visits to the famous (and very beautiful) West Lake, which sits right in the city's center. We visited famous temples, a beautiful 40 meter tall pagoda, and went to a shopping street. We've had cultural seminars on tea art, wood block printing, incense making, and cultural differences between the US and China. We had an opening ceremony featuring the president of the university here where I was told on the fly that I needed to give a speech about the program. I'm thankful that the speech didn't need to be in Chinese.

My first day off in two weeks will be tomorrow, and the theme of the day will be recovery from exhaustion. I think I'll go to a spa for a massage and stay as far away from students as possible. They've been mostly very well behaved, with the exception of a drinking mishap and being late to pretty much everything. I keep trying to express the magnitude of the opportunity they've been given, a fully funded trip to China for 6 weeks and being catered to at every turn by hosts who only want to learn from them and give them a great experience. I think some of it is lost on privilege and entitlement for a few, but the vast majority have been able to dive in and make me proud.

I do feel proud generally to be here. While I'm reading online about the US crumbling from afar, I feel both proud and extremely grateful to be getting some time away. I'm proud of myself that I took the leap, and grateful to feel incredibly safe and welcome here. The people I've met have been the best part, closely followed by the insanely cheap prices and the delicious food.

We have 3.5 more weeks in Hangzhou followed by one in Shanghai, and I have a feeling it will fly by. I'll try to post again soon with more updates. In the meantime, I hope this 4th of July brings a reminder to all about the ideals of America, not the absolute shitshow it has become. Enjoy the time off, all. Love from China.

Be Water, My Friend.

I said, “Empty your mind. Be formless, shapeless, like water.” Now, you put water into a cup, it becomes the cup. You put water into a bottle, it becomes the bottle. You put it in a teapot, it becomes the teapot. Now, water can flow or it can crash. Be water, my friend.”

Today, I leave for six weeks in China for work, which felt like as good a time as ever to resurrect the blog. The last post I published was November of 2020, and it was about the need to have hope, which 5 years later feels about as prevalent as it was then.

During my six weeks in China, I’ll be leading 29 students on what is basically a study trip (shout out SLAs if you’re reading). I’ll be in Beijing, Hangzhou, and Shanghai. I’ve done this before to plenty of places in the world, and I’ve lived abroad for years, but I’m still nervous, which comes with any major life event like this.

The Bruce Lee quote above, while apt for a trip to China, is something I’ve tried to let guide me for most of my adult life. My boss Sam, best boss ever, approached me in late winter and asked if I wanted to lead this trip, and I excitedly agreed. I didn’t even think about how much work it would be (and boy, has it been). I didn’t think about the things that worry me now, like being away from friends and family with limited internet access, or the students potentially acting a fool. I thought about being water, adapting, doing things that allow me to become something else. No matter what happens on this trip, I will learn and change for the better, and that’s really my goal in life at this point.

Three-ish years ago when I moved back to Chicago, I never thought I would be packing everything I own into a storage unit and leaving for China. I find that the best things in life often come in the unexpected: a new friend, a postcard from a friend, a particularly delicious meal. Water doesn’t decide where to go; it flows, and trying to tow the line between being too much of a “yes man” and allowing myself to follow the path put in front of me is something I think about often. That said, most of the time when I say yes, I don’t regret it. Being water has led me to dozens of countries, to hundreds of friends, and to experiences most folks only dream of. Next week, I’ll be standing on the Great Wall of China. That hasn’t yet settled in, but one thing I do know is that I’m lucky, and I never want to stop seizing opportunities to do the new and unexpected.

Sometimes, my friends who are a bit more settled than me will say things like “Man, your life sounds great! Just picking up and going to China!” While we all have our struggles, I take a lot of pride in being able to respond that yes, my life is pretty great. The world is ripe with horrors, and I want to keep working to improve the world, but amidst the horrors we have to carve out our place in the world. I think my place might be to be water. I like being water.

Entering my mid-30s hasn’t come without its thoughts of self-doubt. The big questions feel more present now than ever. Do I want to get married? Do I want to settle down somewhere? Do I want to stay in one job for more than a few years? The short answer is that I don’t know, and I’ve entirely come to peace with that. No day is guaranteed, and what matters isn’t the long-term. What matters is who we are. What matters is showing up for our communities. What matters is sticking to the values you know to be just and moral. I could die tomorrow, and sad as my last moments might be for the end, I’d die with a smile. I wouldn’t change a thing.

I like who I am. I’m absolutely fucking terrified to go to China for 6 weeks, but I like that I made the decision to do it. That’s what matters to me at the onset of this experience.

My future posts on this trip will likely be more logistical. I’ll post photos and outline what I’ve been up to for anyone who wants to follow along (likely just my family and like 3 friends, but you all are worth it). I’ll miss everyone so much. My friends have been sending well wishes and making sure they get to see me before I go, and I feel so loved. Is there anything better in life than to love and be loved? I think not.

The next time someone asks you to do something outside of your comfort zone, even if it’s a bit smaller than extended periods abroad, seriously consider saying yes. Being water has given me a life I couldn’t have imagined as a younger man, one that I love to reflect on and shape as I go.

Sometimes life isn’t about forging your own path; it’s about accepting the opportunities that present themselves to you. If you’ve ever thought I had an iota of intelligence, give it a try. If you hate it, you can blame me, but I imagine you’ll create more incredible life experiences the more you adapt to the path set before you. 

Don’t be a stranger.

Be water, my friend.