I just left my refrigerator door open for several hours after buying groceries. I fear my food is spoiled. What an end to the day!
Today was a sore one. I woke up at 1pm, and my whole body ached with a pain unfelt since I ran a marathon a few years back. My knees, my abs, my back, my quads, and just about everywhere else screamed at me to not roll over and get out of bed. The reason for this terrible pain, is that yesterday, I climbed the tallest mountain in South Korea, Hallasan, or Mount Halla in English.
Michael Chu and I have been talking about summiting the mountain for a while now, but the timing never worked out until this Monday. We borrowed some crampons anticipating ice at the top, but both of us underestimated what we were in for. It ended up being a 13 mile hike when it was all said and done. The first couple of miles in the morning starting at 6:30AM were relatively easy. It was a slight incline, and we rolled along at a solid pace. The incline got progressively higher though, and by the time we reached "base camp," we had been going pretty straight up for a while. The last 45 minutes of the hike up were the most brutal though. We battled a snowstorm as we reached the summit of the mountain, fighting gale force winds, ice, and snow. We joked later about how truly frightening the experience had been. You could see a long way down off the side of the mountain as we climbed, and all of the trail markers were buried in snow. The only thing holding us to the mountain was our crampons, and we had to stop and brace ourselves with each blow of the wind. When we finally reached the summit, we didn't want to stay long. It was so unbearably cold that we were losing feeling in our fingers and toes. We took some pictures and video and hightailed it back to warmer, thicker air.
Climbing the mountain was so worth today's pain, and it was an unforgettable experience. Today, as I downed Advil and wished I was dead, I realized that there was a really important reality and metaphor that came with climbing the mountain. The fact is that climbing a mountain gives you a goal. It gives you something to strive for. If I compare climbing Halla to doing the same 13 mile workout on a stair-stepping machine in the gym, I know I would not have been able to do it. Setting a goal for myself was the only reason I was able to push through and get it done. It was the same with running the marathon. I wouldn't just go out and run 26 miles on my own if there wasn't a clear goal in mind. I find that this sort of mentality is important in all that I do.
I wouldn't get anything done if I didn't set the goals for myself, and I realize how important it is for me to keep my eye on the prize. Keeping my eye on the prize is what allows me to take joy in the process. Knowing I was heading towards the summit of the mountain was the reason that I wasn't crying in pain the entire way up and down. It was an enjoyable time the whole time, not just the few minutes we were at the top. If the goal is to clean my room, the prize is the clean room. If the goal is to fill out all of the applications and apply to grad schools, the prize is getting into a school. It seems so simple, but I think I needed a reminder that I need to be conscious of why I do the things I do.
Anyway, tonight I tried making my first mustard-based barbecue sauce, and I fear it came out with too strong of a mustard flavor. I'll need to come up with some ideas to try to counteract that next time, I suppose. Tomorrow is back to the work grind! I just found out that my dear friend Cayla Turain, who is studying in Vietnam for the semester, is going to try to come visit Jeju in a few weeks! She was a freshman when I studied abroad in Rome, and it's crazy to think we will be abroad together again. Time to start planning places to take her!
I heard from my dear old friend Conor Duncan today, and that also did wonders for making this a good week. If anyone has any desire to write letters or emails, let me know, because I love communicating via both! We've had some issues with disrespect towards the staff with our eighth graders in the last few weeks, and I think the big project for this week is getting that under control. So, it should be a busy one. I wish you the best of weeks.
-Ryan
Tuesday, January 20, 2015
Monday, January 12, 2015
Time and Solitude
It's been kind of a thoughtful day for me, and I figured it would be remiss if I didn't write some of the thoughts down.
First, time. Recently, my workouts have consisted of a lot of interval work. For instance, today I did 2 minutes of low resistance high speed, 2 minutes of high resistance and as high as possible speed, for an hour on a bike. Same thing with running a few days ago (as much as the knee will permit!). 2 minutes sprint, 2 minutes light jog.
One of the things I've noticed as I do these types of workouts is that the easy portion always flies by, and the hard portion always drags on and takes forever. I think life is kind of like that sometimes. It's tough for us to really revel in our good times because we're in the moment, but when something bad happens, we really want it to be over, so it seems like it takes forever. I wish there was a way to rewire that part of our brains to make it the opposite, eh? I'll come back to another story about timing after I discuss something else briefly: solitude.
My mom has laughed at me a few times because something I like to do every once in a while is see a movie by myself. Tonight was one of those nights when I felt like I needed to get away, process the recent events of my life, and be alone. I think these types of nights are essential to my functioning as a human being. Reflection is something that often goes undone in today's world. We're a society of constantly doing and doing but never stopping to smell the roses. Alone time is like a battery recharge for my patience and character. I wouldn't be who I am daily without it.
Anyway, I went to see Unbroken, and I rode my motorcycle 45 minutes each way in the freezing cold Korean night to do it. I left campus at 9, and it was chilly, and I was cold, but I knew the way back would be worse. I had brought some hand warmers, and after the movie was over, I heated them up, stuck them in my gloves, and got to riding.
By the time I got home, I couldn't feel my fingers, my legs were tingly, and my toes were near frozen. The stupid hand warmers didn't help much. As I hopped off my motorcycle, all I could think about was getting back to my warm room. I raced up to the door of my building, got almost all the way to my room, and then had an "oh, shit" moment. I'd left the keys in my motorcycle. After a fair amount of cursing under my breath, I went back outside to retrieve them.
To my surprise, it wasn't so cold outside (the wind whipping at 90km/h on a motorcycle apparently makes things colder). As soon as I stepped back out, I noticed a star-filled sky, so clear that every few seconds I was seeing a shooting star or a bright star blinking wildly. I walked slowly down to my motorcycle, neck craned toward the sky, got my keys, and meandered back to the dorm. I was pretty glad I had forgotten my keys.
When I got to my room, I thought to myself, man, isn't timing everything? Sometimes life just works out the way it needs to. Sometimes the universe knows you need to notice the spotlessly starry night, so it makes you an airhead, and then you forget your keys. Sometimes you think you have a plan, but screw your plans. Get ready for life to change them. Just because you're dealt a bad hand doesn't mean you can't play it a certain way. Making plans is a necessary life strategy, but if you can't adapt and figure things out when they go sour, you're stuck in the middle of the Pacific Ocean on a raft surrounded by sharks and enemies without food or water (shameless Unbroken reference). And like I said before, when things go sour, like finding yourself on that raft, it tends to last longer rather than shorter. Your brain pays more attention when things go bad. I think the happy people are the most adaptable ones.
I have been happy with my adaption to Korea. Sure, things didn't go as planned, but thank God, or I wouldn't have been there tonight to see those stars. I am not being sarcastic. Life finds a funny way of putting you where you need to be when you need to be there, whether it's your dream or not. We'll see where my next dream takes me.
Also, random, it occurred to me that our bodies need carbs before we workout and protein after perhaps for evolutionary reasons. Like when our ancestors were nomads, what they could gather (berries, nuts, other carbs) was their energy for the hunt, and if they were subsistence hunting or on a long track, they would need that energy, but when they killed the animal, that meal was obviously protein filled. I'm sure this brilliant epiphany is written somewhere by some famous scholar, but I thought about it while I was showering this morning. I digress.
That's been my day. Grocery shopping, Indian food, relaxing, cooking, sending a letter to my dear friend Mary Whitmore (who has become quite the best pen pal), and then the movie/motorcycle/starry night extravaganza. Life is good.
I miss you all at home. I'll catch you on another time.
-Ryan
First, time. Recently, my workouts have consisted of a lot of interval work. For instance, today I did 2 minutes of low resistance high speed, 2 minutes of high resistance and as high as possible speed, for an hour on a bike. Same thing with running a few days ago (as much as the knee will permit!). 2 minutes sprint, 2 minutes light jog.
One of the things I've noticed as I do these types of workouts is that the easy portion always flies by, and the hard portion always drags on and takes forever. I think life is kind of like that sometimes. It's tough for us to really revel in our good times because we're in the moment, but when something bad happens, we really want it to be over, so it seems like it takes forever. I wish there was a way to rewire that part of our brains to make it the opposite, eh? I'll come back to another story about timing after I discuss something else briefly: solitude.
My mom has laughed at me a few times because something I like to do every once in a while is see a movie by myself. Tonight was one of those nights when I felt like I needed to get away, process the recent events of my life, and be alone. I think these types of nights are essential to my functioning as a human being. Reflection is something that often goes undone in today's world. We're a society of constantly doing and doing but never stopping to smell the roses. Alone time is like a battery recharge for my patience and character. I wouldn't be who I am daily without it.
Anyway, I went to see Unbroken, and I rode my motorcycle 45 minutes each way in the freezing cold Korean night to do it. I left campus at 9, and it was chilly, and I was cold, but I knew the way back would be worse. I had brought some hand warmers, and after the movie was over, I heated them up, stuck them in my gloves, and got to riding.
By the time I got home, I couldn't feel my fingers, my legs were tingly, and my toes were near frozen. The stupid hand warmers didn't help much. As I hopped off my motorcycle, all I could think about was getting back to my warm room. I raced up to the door of my building, got almost all the way to my room, and then had an "oh, shit" moment. I'd left the keys in my motorcycle. After a fair amount of cursing under my breath, I went back outside to retrieve them.
To my surprise, it wasn't so cold outside (the wind whipping at 90km/h on a motorcycle apparently makes things colder). As soon as I stepped back out, I noticed a star-filled sky, so clear that every few seconds I was seeing a shooting star or a bright star blinking wildly. I walked slowly down to my motorcycle, neck craned toward the sky, got my keys, and meandered back to the dorm. I was pretty glad I had forgotten my keys.
When I got to my room, I thought to myself, man, isn't timing everything? Sometimes life just works out the way it needs to. Sometimes the universe knows you need to notice the spotlessly starry night, so it makes you an airhead, and then you forget your keys. Sometimes you think you have a plan, but screw your plans. Get ready for life to change them. Just because you're dealt a bad hand doesn't mean you can't play it a certain way. Making plans is a necessary life strategy, but if you can't adapt and figure things out when they go sour, you're stuck in the middle of the Pacific Ocean on a raft surrounded by sharks and enemies without food or water (shameless Unbroken reference). And like I said before, when things go sour, like finding yourself on that raft, it tends to last longer rather than shorter. Your brain pays more attention when things go bad. I think the happy people are the most adaptable ones.
I have been happy with my adaption to Korea. Sure, things didn't go as planned, but thank God, or I wouldn't have been there tonight to see those stars. I am not being sarcastic. Life finds a funny way of putting you where you need to be when you need to be there, whether it's your dream or not. We'll see where my next dream takes me.
Also, random, it occurred to me that our bodies need carbs before we workout and protein after perhaps for evolutionary reasons. Like when our ancestors were nomads, what they could gather (berries, nuts, other carbs) was their energy for the hunt, and if they were subsistence hunting or on a long track, they would need that energy, but when they killed the animal, that meal was obviously protein filled. I'm sure this brilliant epiphany is written somewhere by some famous scholar, but I thought about it while I was showering this morning. I digress.
That's been my day. Grocery shopping, Indian food, relaxing, cooking, sending a letter to my dear friend Mary Whitmore (who has become quite the best pen pal), and then the movie/motorcycle/starry night extravaganza. Life is good.
I miss you all at home. I'll catch you on another time.
-Ryan
Friday, January 2, 2015
2014: A Year of Growth and Change
Hello dear compadres!
Happy New Year! Currently writing from my living room in St. Louis, and it's incredibly weird to me that I was in Korea a week and a half ago, and I will be back in Korea in 3 days. A ton of travel! Twenty-something hours on planes each way, and I have to work as soon as I get back. I hope the kids are feeling merciful. It's been an incredible trip home. I got to see my cousins Liz and Catherine in Los Angeles on a long layover, as well as my old friend Joel Schmidt who I haven't seen in at least three or four years. That was a great start. Then, I got back to St. Louis to see my family, went to Chicago for a few days to see my Beazley family, Brad and Kim Zandstra, and countless other friends. Now, all of my friends are in St. Louis for Alex's wedding, and it's been a few amazing days of catching up. I am loving home, but in a way, I'm also excited to get back to Korea after the beautiful wedding celebration tomorrow. As the year has wrapped up, I wanted to take some time to reflect and look forward.
2014 started much like this year has. I got to see some great friends on New Years, including my dear Laura Welp, and it was a blast. Last year, I couldn't wait to get back to Loyola to finish up my last semester and enjoy the final stanza with my friends. The year was one of lots of ups and downs. The spring was truly one of the best of my life, and I felt like I grew and learned a lot about myself and what I want out of myself, others, and life in general. I had a pretty concrete plan for life after college. I was pretty confident I would get hired for a job in Rome; I was relatively ready to try to make a long-distance relationship work; I was way overly confident in just about everything I imagined would happen to the point of naivety.
To make a long story short, in a matter of a week, I didn't get the job and had a break up. I hit a low in the next few weeks after that, and I kind of felt like the floor was pulled out from under me in one of the most important transition periods of my life. I remember saying to Alex that I felt like my foundation for the future was pulled and that I felt lost.
At the beginning of June, Mikey and I left for a month-long trip to Europe, and the day before I left, I found out I would be taking a job in South Korea beginning in the fall. As I rushed to get my documents in order for Korea, I hopped on a plane with Mikey, and suddenly my life had the pace and direction back that I needed. The good times I had with Mikey brought me back up, and the fear and anticipation of Korea made me both ecstatic and completely crazy at the same time. I had no idea what to expect, and I was proud of myself for taking the leap into the unknown.
The first semester of Korea has been filled with ups and downs also, but overall, it's been really incredible. The island is gorgeous. I've made great friends. The job is good (besides when the boys drive me insane). I've traveled to Seoul, Hong Kong, and U-do Island. I've accomplished all I want to and more. I've missed home like never before, and for the first time, I really feel like I'm a whole world away. I've learned how to be more independent. I've learned how to move on and move forward at the same time instead of dwelling in my defeats. I've truly felt the importance of family and friends in a sense much deeper than I've ever known before.
I return to Korea hopeful. I decide in the next few weeks if I go back for another year, and I've decided I'd like to if the school will give me the opportunity. My last few days in the States will be well spent, witnessing the marriage of the two people who are more in love than anyone else I've ever seen, two of my best friends. I'm truly honored to stand next to Alex as her marries the love of his life, and I'd have traveled home three times for it if I had to.
2014, there were days I thought you would stand as a reminder of defeat. You taught me that control of my life lies with no one but me, and turned out to be one of the best years yet. 2015, you've got a lot to live up to.
Finally, my New Years resolutions, because if you put them in writing on the Internet, you have to fulfill them:
1. Lose 40 pounds by the beginning of school next year.
2. Do more nice things for people for no reason.
3. Maintain the relationships that matter, no matter where I am in the world.
4. Prioritize what's important, and treat it as such.
5. Uphold my own ideals. Love, forgive, and listen to others.
Thanks for being the best, folks. Happy New Year.
Happy New Year! Currently writing from my living room in St. Louis, and it's incredibly weird to me that I was in Korea a week and a half ago, and I will be back in Korea in 3 days. A ton of travel! Twenty-something hours on planes each way, and I have to work as soon as I get back. I hope the kids are feeling merciful. It's been an incredible trip home. I got to see my cousins Liz and Catherine in Los Angeles on a long layover, as well as my old friend Joel Schmidt who I haven't seen in at least three or four years. That was a great start. Then, I got back to St. Louis to see my family, went to Chicago for a few days to see my Beazley family, Brad and Kim Zandstra, and countless other friends. Now, all of my friends are in St. Louis for Alex's wedding, and it's been a few amazing days of catching up. I am loving home, but in a way, I'm also excited to get back to Korea after the beautiful wedding celebration tomorrow. As the year has wrapped up, I wanted to take some time to reflect and look forward.
2014 started much like this year has. I got to see some great friends on New Years, including my dear Laura Welp, and it was a blast. Last year, I couldn't wait to get back to Loyola to finish up my last semester and enjoy the final stanza with my friends. The year was one of lots of ups and downs. The spring was truly one of the best of my life, and I felt like I grew and learned a lot about myself and what I want out of myself, others, and life in general. I had a pretty concrete plan for life after college. I was pretty confident I would get hired for a job in Rome; I was relatively ready to try to make a long-distance relationship work; I was way overly confident in just about everything I imagined would happen to the point of naivety.
To make a long story short, in a matter of a week, I didn't get the job and had a break up. I hit a low in the next few weeks after that, and I kind of felt like the floor was pulled out from under me in one of the most important transition periods of my life. I remember saying to Alex that I felt like my foundation for the future was pulled and that I felt lost.
At the beginning of June, Mikey and I left for a month-long trip to Europe, and the day before I left, I found out I would be taking a job in South Korea beginning in the fall. As I rushed to get my documents in order for Korea, I hopped on a plane with Mikey, and suddenly my life had the pace and direction back that I needed. The good times I had with Mikey brought me back up, and the fear and anticipation of Korea made me both ecstatic and completely crazy at the same time. I had no idea what to expect, and I was proud of myself for taking the leap into the unknown.
The first semester of Korea has been filled with ups and downs also, but overall, it's been really incredible. The island is gorgeous. I've made great friends. The job is good (besides when the boys drive me insane). I've traveled to Seoul, Hong Kong, and U-do Island. I've accomplished all I want to and more. I've missed home like never before, and for the first time, I really feel like I'm a whole world away. I've learned how to be more independent. I've learned how to move on and move forward at the same time instead of dwelling in my defeats. I've truly felt the importance of family and friends in a sense much deeper than I've ever known before.
I return to Korea hopeful. I decide in the next few weeks if I go back for another year, and I've decided I'd like to if the school will give me the opportunity. My last few days in the States will be well spent, witnessing the marriage of the two people who are more in love than anyone else I've ever seen, two of my best friends. I'm truly honored to stand next to Alex as her marries the love of his life, and I'd have traveled home three times for it if I had to.
2014, there were days I thought you would stand as a reminder of defeat. You taught me that control of my life lies with no one but me, and turned out to be one of the best years yet. 2015, you've got a lot to live up to.
Finally, my New Years resolutions, because if you put them in writing on the Internet, you have to fulfill them:
1. Lose 40 pounds by the beginning of school next year.
2. Do more nice things for people for no reason.
3. Maintain the relationships that matter, no matter where I am in the world.
4. Prioritize what's important, and treat it as such.
5. Uphold my own ideals. Love, forgive, and listen to others.
Thanks for being the best, folks. Happy New Year.
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